If you thought it was impossible for a mom to take a real, relaxing vacation, this video is for you. Sure, it may not exist in real life, but at least it exists in this hilarious, scripted video from the mind of Ashley Seely, a mom of two and Instagrammer who parodied her ideal vacation, which just so happens to be the ideal vacation for pretty much every mom ever.
It starts with Seely enjoying her hotel balcony, where she’s wrapping up a phone call with her kids. When she goes back into the room, her husband is already wide awake in bed, waiting to start the perfect day that he’s planned out for her.
“Weren’t you asleep?” she asks.
“Nope,” he says. “Just waiting for you to be done talking to our kids. I have so much empathy for you as a mother, being away from your children on vacation.”
As he says this, he reaches under the covers and pulls out a 44-ounce Sonic drink, which he hands to his delighted wife. Because no perfect vacation day starts without hydration, and how does one hydrate with anything other than Cherry Limeade?
“God, you’re beautiful in the morning,” he says. “Anyways, let’s keep you distracted, sweetie! Fun news: I repacked all the clothes that you brought on this vacation, sent them home, so you need to go to the mall today and buy all new clothes! After that, we’ll go bask by the pool, each reading our own books. By then, your 44-ouncer will be gone, so we’re going to go to an eclectic farmhouse coffee shop down the road… with chickens.”
“What kind?” Seely asks.
Her husband answers, “I don’t know, but they’re the ones with the fluffy feet.”
At this point, understandably, Seely can hardly contain her glee. But wait, there’s more.
“What should we get for dinner?” Seely asks, and of course her husband has a plan for that, too.
“There are a lot of cool and trendy restaurants around here, but don’t let those distract you,” he says. “We’re going to Cheesecake Factory. I was thinking that you order what you want the most, and then I’ll order what you wanted second and third most and then we can do sharesies.”
The day also includes a couple’s massage, a snack (which is just a whole baguette, of course) and separate after-dinner walks so Seely can fart in private, even though her husband acknowledges she does not fart, because she’s a lady. And you thought the perfect vacation didn’t exist.
In the comments, people are loving this perfect vacation husband, but under no illusions about the fact that he doesn’t exist.
“man written by a woman 100%,” one wrote.
Shh, don’t ruin this for us.
