How far would you go to ensure your child’s birthday is stress-free and joyful?
That’s the question one dad, Kyle Philippi, faced when deciding to skip telling his daughter, Isabella, about her own birthday. Yes, you read that right—he chose not to mention the big day at all, and the heartwarming reason behind it has sparked a viral conversation among parents everywhere.
In a TikTok video that has amassed over 2.6 million views, Kyle explained the unique situation his family faced and how they arrived at their unconventional decision.
@kylephilippi We’re about 60/40 on whether this was a good idea… #birthday #parenting #parentingtips #autism #autismawareness #autismacceptance #auditoryprocessingdisorder #surprisebirthday #birthdayparty ♬ original sound – Kyle Philippi
The birthday that wasn’t: Why one family hit reset on tradition
For many families, birthdays require flexibility—whether due to timing, family dynamics, or individual needs. Some children have birthdays that fall during school breaks, making it harder to gather friends. Others have sensory sensitivities or struggle with social events, requiring parents to think outside the box. Kyle’s family faced a mix of these challenges, leading them to take an unconventional approach this year.
Isabella’s January 2nd birthday might sound like the perfect time for post-holiday cheer, but for her, it’s been anything but. Her birthday falls during winter break, making it nearly impossible to gather her school friends for a party.
Two years ago, Isabella’s birthday party was a bust—none of her classmates could attend. Last year, the family tried something different: a small family celebration on her actual birthday, followed by a later party with school friends. But as Kyle explained, Isabella, who has auditory processing disorder and is on the autism spectrum, struggled to understand why her friends weren’t celebrating with her on her actual birthday.
“She just does not understand why her friends can’t come to a birthday on her birthday,” Kyle shared in the video.
So, this year, they tried a new strategy: not telling her it was her birthday at all. Instead, the family plans to throw a party later in January when her friends are available.
Related: Exhausted, a young father calls for help on TikTok—and receives a beautiful gift
Parenting outside the box: Adapting traditions for our kids’ needs
Kyle’s story isn’t just about a birthday—it’s about how families adapt to meet their children’s unique needs. Whether it’s adjusting for social challenges, family dynamics, or even just a busy schedule, milestone celebrations often require creativity.
For many parents, finding ways to make birthdays special despite logistical or emotional challenges is a common experience. Kyle mentioned that Isabella has recently noticed she’s not being invited to some of her classmates’ birthday parties—something that has made her own celebration feel even more significant to her.
Kyle acknowledged the uncertainty of their decision: “We don’t know if we’ve made the right decision, but here we are.”
Making special moments count: 4 expert tips for meaningful celebrations
Child development experts agree that there’s no single right way to celebrate a child’s special day. What matters most is that the celebration feels meaningful and joyful for the child.
Here are some tips for handling milestone celebrations creatively:
1. Follow your child’s lead. Consider what will bring your child the most happiness, even if it means breaking tradition.
2. Turn them into co-planners. When appropriate, let them have a say in how they’d like to celebrate.
3. Adapt expectations. Emphasize connection over perfection—sometimes a simple celebration is the most meaningful.
4. Plan around challenges. For off-season birthdays, consider half-birthdays or delayed celebrations when more friends can join.
Related: This 3-year-old’s voice note left her dad in tears on his wedding day
Parents react: “You’re doing the right thing”
Kyle’s TikTok struck a chord with parents, many of whom shared similar struggles in the comments:
@shemomigans: “these ‘decisions’ are so hard but you are doing great by taking it all into consideration and trying to do what will help her feel great on her birthday”
@Blue: “as an autistic person who struggles with birthdays, you’re doing the right thing. it’s a little unconventional, but so are kids like us!! keep it up ❤️”
@comehikewithme83: “It’s also OK to teach kids that birthdays and birthday parties do not have to fall on the same day. 👍”
The video also prompted a broader conversation about how parents of neurodivergent children navigate social milestones and what it means to celebrate in a way that works for their child.
Breaking the birthday mold: Why parents should trust their instincts
Parenting often requires trial and error, and Kyle’s story is a reminder that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Adapting traditions to fit your child’s needs doesn’t make the occasion less special—it makes it more meaningful.
So, whether it’s celebrating a birthday weeks late or creating entirely new traditions, know this: thoughtful parenting rooted in love and understanding is always the right choice.
